


In My Dearest Memory

by Overratedzoie



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Headcanon, Heavy Angst, Letters, Love, M/M, Minecraft, Sad Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Time Travel, Time Travelling Karl Jacobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:01:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29481864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Overratedzoie/pseuds/Overratedzoie
Summary: Karl hated living knowing he may never return to Sapnap. In the event he never returns, he decided to write letters to Sapnap explaining what happened to him. Sadly, the day comes where Sapnap has to read them.
Relationships: Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 5
Kudos: 124





	In My Dearest Memory

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote a head-cannon and decided I wanted to write a short fic about it. I didn't fully proof read it so sorry about that.

The only choice was for Karl to lie to Sapnap about where he goes when he leaves for days on end. He hated telling him all these excuses about where he was going but time travel was a hard concept to grasp. A powerful tool that can be used to help and destroy a world with one single decision. Anyone who knew about time travel, found out by mistake or they were the reason for the time travel. 

_ George _ . He stumbled across Karl coming back from an expedition. To make him less suspicious, Karl met with him in his library and told him everything. George made a deal with Karl not to disclose any information from that meeting.

_ Ranboo _ . He knew because of his studies. Karl would meet with Ranboo and discuss new information and pin together any new information with some old evidence. The amount of journals they wrote together was enough to fill his library.

_ Dream _ . The reason for his time travel. Half the books that filled Karl’s library were of Dream. The one constant in every period Karl traveled to. The mystery or his immortality festered in Karl’s mind no matter how many times he traveled, forgetting more and more as he went. Another reason Karl told George about his ability to time travel, to get information about present day Dream. George was one of the closest people to Dream for a very long time so he knew things a lot of people didn’t. 

He loved and hated time traveling. On one hand he knew he was helping the present and future are all his friends but he also knew he was wasting his life and hurted himself in the process. The more he traveled the more he’d forget. Coming back to Sapnap playing off where he was hurt, knowing one day, he may not remember who he was.

Every time Karl would leave, he’d give a letter for Sapnap. Every letter, Karl poured his heart and soul into knowing that there was a chance it could be his last. Sapnap read the letter he left him for that time he left everyday until his return. But he didn’t know the chances of Karl not returning. All he knew was Karl left on a trip to help someone else across the land. Karl was one of the few constants in Sapnap’s life. He really did love him even in the darkest of days. After he was betrayed by Dream, Karl confirmed him and told him that he’d always be there for him no matter what. 

Karl hated lying. He knew how much Sapnap had been through and just wanted to be there for him. It was what people were supposed to do. He wanted to be as normal as possible and maybe, nothing bad would happen to him and one day he won’t have to time travel anymore. All he wanted was to live with Sapnap in a cabin somewhere away from everyone after the chaos died down. But that was only the legacy he wanted to live. The painful truth was the fact he knew that wouldn't happen. He saw the lives Sapnap lived in every scenario possible. He saw Sapnap live out a long life full of hardships, and a life where he lived happily besides his best friends. But then a life that abruptly ended from fighting a war and dying to the hands of one of his best friends. The painful truth seeped into his brain every time he saw Sapnap. So, he decided to write a few letters and hide them for Sapnap for the inevitable day he feared.

\---

The amount of letters Karl had written was enough to write a book series. He enjoyed writing letters, he knew his writing was the only legacy he’d leave behind. That’s why he decided to write the letters to Sapnap and hide them. He never cried more writing something than he did writing those letters for Sapnap. It took him hours to word the letter in the perfect way to explain everything and after he was done, he hid them in the back of a green journal on one of his bookshelves. 

After he wrote them, he decided to pay George a visit. He walked through the dense mushroom forest on an old looking trail until he came upon George’s home. He rested his hand on the oddly-shaped door, inhaled, and opened it. The fireplace was lit and George was working on something at his table.

“Hey George.” Karl said as George looked at him.

“Hello Karl, you look worried and you also just walked into my house-”

“Yeah, sorry about that but I need to talk to you about something.” Karl said, cutting George off. 

“Come sit down.” George said, walking over to the warm fireplace.

Karl walks over and sits on a couch on the opposite side of George and begins to explain.

“I told you about my time travel a bit ago.” 

“Yes.” George replied. “And I haven’t told anyone anything about it.” 

“Thank you. But, I never told you about the consequences of my travels.”

“Oh?” 

“Time travel can kill me. Figuratively and literally.” Karl sighs.

“Like if you die in that time period?” George questions.

“In order to get back here,” Karl starts, “I have to die. But if I die too soon before I can find out what happens, I die for good. Then I can’t come back. But, the most painful part of it is, there is a chance that I live every time I travel and I get all the information I need but I lose all my memory I have now.”

“What do you mean?”

“That means that I’ll remember all the information from that trip and the last thing I was thinking about, but I won’t remember anything else. I won't remember myself. And I won’t remember Sapnap.”

“Oh…” George said quietly, looking down.

“Now George, I have a request. A favor.” Karl said.

“Anything.”

“On the far right book shelf when you walk into my library, there is a green journal. In the back of the jornal there are two letters addressed to Sapnap. If, one day I don’t come back or if I come back and I don’t remember anything, tell Sapnap exactly what I just told you. Please.” Karl said with tears in his eyes.

“Of course, Karl.” George said.

Karl stood up and opened his arms for a hug and George rolled his eyes but reluctantly agreed.

“Thank you, George. For everything.” 

“You’re Welcome Karl. Thank you for caring about him.”

\---

“I’ll see you soon, right?” Sapnap smiled as him and Karl hugged.

“Of course, oh and here.” Karl said as he pulled out a letter from his pocket and handed it to Sapnap.

He smiles again, “Thank you. I’ll be waiting for your return.”

“And I’ll be waiting for you to greet me.” Karl laughed and began to walk away.

“Goodbye Karl, my love. Good morrow my sir.” Sapnap said, mocking an old british accent. 

“Goodbye good sir.” Karl responded, playing along with the bit.

Later that night, Sapnap sat in his bed and read through the new letter Karl had left him as he always did. After, he opened the drawer next to his bed and sat the letter inside of it on top of the tens of other letters Karl had left all the other times. 

Sapnap stood on the edge of the forest waiting for Karl like he had all the other times. Karl had been gone for a little over a week and Sapnap grew impatient. He kept rereading the letter hoping Karl would come home sooner. But it was already time for him to be back and Sapnap couldn’t be happier. He heard footsteps deep in the forest and began walking towards the sound. Then, he saw Karl looking around,

“Karl!” Sapnap said, running directly towards the horrified looking Karl and hugging him tightly.

“I missed you so much!” He said releasing the hug and looked at Karl, who looked scared.

Sapnap laughed, “You okay?”

Karl looked at Sapnap and tilted his head slightly, “Do I know you?”

“Ohhh, you are trying to prank me. Yeah I’m not falling for that.” Sapnap laughed.

“Prank? I’m sorry but I don’t think I understand what you mean. But, have you seen Ranboo? I need to talk to him about something.” 

“What? You just got back. I missed you. I want to do something with you today before you get to work again.”

Karl backed away, “I’m sorry, I don’t know who you are.”

Sapnap wasn’t smiling anymore, “What?”

Karl looked horrified at the sight of Sapnap and it hurt him to see the fear in his eyes.

“Do you know who you are?” Sapnap questioned.

“Karl- I think.” he responded.

“You think?” Sapnap said.

“Y-yeah. I think.”

“What’s your favorite color?”

Karl paused and looked around, then looked down at his hoodie, “Purple… or green?”

“Follow me.” Sapnap said, grabbing Karl’s arm carefully and pulling him along with him.

“Hey! Where are you taking me!”

“To see someone.” 

They walked through the mushroom forest the same way Karl had all those months ago. Once they got to the door, Sapnap finally said something, “We’re here.”

He opens the door quickly to the dismay of George, looking terrified.

“Sapnap! Wha-”

“Karl doesn’t remember me. I don’t know if it's some joke but I don’t think he remembers me and I don’t know why.”

George looked like he wanted to cry, “Sapnap-”

“Do you know something? Is this a joke?”

“No. Listen to me. Go to his library. On the far right bookshelf there should be a green journal. Open it to the back of the book. There is something for you.”

George walked up to Sapnap and put his hand on his shoulder, 

“I’m so sorry.” were all the words he could say before quickly turning around to hide the fact he was crying.

Sapnap grabbed Karl again and started for the library. He started running and got Karl to run beside him. In record time, they both got to the library. He ran inside and had Karl sit on a couch that was on the left side of the library and he started looking for the green journal. He found it and grabbed the journal off the shelf and rubbed the cover with one of his hands. He reluctantly opened it directly to the back of the book to see two folded letters, both with ‘To Sapnap’ written on the front. He unfollowed the first one and began to read it. 

The first letter was titled ‘An Explanation’.

“I wanted to tell you, I really did,” It began. “but it would have hurt you more knowing than if I just kept it a secret. But, now that you are reading this, it may hurt you to know I lied to you. I wish I could have told you this in person, it would have been easier. But since you are reading this now, it sadly didn’t turnout that way.” 

Sapnap read in disbelief as Karl explained everything he hid from Sapnap. He said how he wasn’t leaving to help friends, he was time traveling. He said how it was hard to believe but it was true, he could just ask Ranboo or George. He also said to not be mad at them for not telling him about his ability to time travel, he told them to keep it a secret and that if he wanted to blame anyone to blame him. Karl explained how it worked and that if he wanted to know more, he was free to read all the books that filled his library shelves. He also explained the dangers. He said that if he died too early before it was time for him to leave, he would die for good. And he said that overtime, time travel affected his memory. That explained why Karl didn’t remember him. That letter was signed “Karl”. 

Sapnap was crying. He couldn’t believe what he was reading. Not because it was about time travel, but because it wasn’t some joke. He sat the letter down slowly on the table and picked up the next one, also with ‘to Sapnap’ written on the front. He unfolded it more slowly than the last one and began reading. This one was titled ‘I’m Sorry’

“ Sapnap,

I wrote this letter with the hope no one, especially you, would never read it. But if you’re reading this now, that means it’s too late for me. I’m sorry. I’m going to say that a lot in this letter, but that’s because I truly am sorry. I didn’t want it to end like this. Part of me hoped that after a while, I wouldn’t have to time travel anymore and we’d live happily ever after in some cabin in the deep woods together and maybe even finally get married if we got around to it. But I always knew I was just putting off the inevitable. It hurt me to tell you I’d see you again when I knew there was a chance that was false. If you are reading this because I died, I want you to use the concept of what I’m about to tell you. 

The day I met you I knew I wanted to get to know you. You were so confident and nice and treated me better than anyone I had ever met. You brought me a happiness I thought I’d never be able to achieve. We both benefited each other in the best way possible and helped so many people together. After Dream betrayed you, I had never seen you so distraught. But I tried my best to make you happy. A lot of my time I spent traveling was to find out more about Dream so to not tell you anything that hurt me. But I was still able to cheer you up little by little everyday and that made me happy. I’d give anything to look you in the eyes and say I love you one last time. But it’s too late now. I don’t want you to dwell on the past because for me Sapnap. You’re a strong person, I know you can move past this. I’m not saying for you to forget me but, I want you to move on and know that I will always love you no matter what happened to me.

If I came back and I don’t remember you. I want you to think that whoever that is, isn’t me. Your memories are what make you who you are. If I don’t remember you, I am not me. Without you, I am not me. You are what completed me, the only thing I ever needed. We got along so well so fast it was like I had known you forever. I want you to do something for me. That Karl isn’t me but, if you want, I want you to get to know him. No matter what happens, I’ll always love you. One day, we’ll meet again in a place where we can be happy together. I want him to make you happy just like I did. I want you to complete him just like you completed me. Make that Karl fall in love with you just like you did this one, you don’t make it very hard :]. Until  I see you again, I love you.

Your  fiancé forever,

Karl”

Tears soaked Sapnap’s face and rolled off the paper. 

“I love you too.” He mumbled, holding the letter to his chest.

With shaky breaths, he thought about everything he just read. He sat down on the letter on top of the other one on the table and pulled himself together, drying his tears. He took a few deep breaths and walked over to Karl, who was still sitting on the couch on the other side of the library. He walked in front of him and flashed a painful smile and stuck out his hand. The moment Karl shook his hand he started talking,

“Hey Karl, my name is Sapnap,” he said,

“ _ nice to meet you.” _


End file.
